"Why should anyone fear the Sages? They're worthless fucking broken symbols if you ask me. Come at me bitch!"
-Duckie
It's funny to see runners making a comeback on the blogs. For a little while there it was almost like they had all gone extinct. And just as odd a phenomenon as the sudden emergence of runners, we also have a sudden decline in proxy activity.
It leaves these new runners in an bad place. They've no semblance of leadership to guide them and no marker of hope to feed them lies about how it's all gonna turn out alright. To convince them that there is hope and that there is a chance everyone can make it out of this okay.
But then, something caught my eye. Suddenly, there was a beacon of light in the distance. Could it be... a new hope?
I found myself curious and I couldn't help myself, so I chased that sliver of light and clenched my fist tight ready for a worthy fight to find... this.
This Baby Feral Rake Sage-ish... thing... calling itself 'Med' of all things. Truly an inspired name, truly.
THIS, is apparently the new Sage. THIS, is supposed to be the beacon for a new wave of hope and thoughtless optimism.
Hahaha... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh god, that's good.
You're all fucked.
Sincerely,
The Lord Guardian Fracture
Do you henceforth grant Med the title of "Sage"? You'd better let him know of that.
ReplyDeleteSanna, Med is a girl.
DeleteOops, I'm really sorry. Should've read her blog more carefully.
DeleteFracture, do you grant Med the title of "Sage".
What am I, the grand pope of runners suddenly?
DeleteLets try this out, I have a new commandment:
Thou shall not sleep on roofs.
I kind of want to see all ten commandments.
DeleteThou shall not suffer a Proxy to live.
DeleteKilling is not a commandment.
DeleteI took it from the saying "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live".
DeleteI figured it was the most appropriate given the circumstances. It's kill or be killed out there, after all.
Thou shall not sleep on roofs.
DeleteThou shall not have any other Fear before Father.
Thou shall not offer Father a $20 dollar bribe.
Thou shall not harm Father's children.
Thou shall NEVER EVER refer to the Splendor Man in any capacity.
Thou shall never deny Father an order.
Thou shall never wear a hoodie with an operator symbol on the front of the hood.
Thou shall never report to the villagers that it is merely a tiger that lives in the woods.
Thou shall wear a mask or elaborate cartoon villain like costume when killing in Fathers name.
Thou shall not suffer a bird to live. Seriously, fuck birds.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sleep on a roof serving the Cold Boy using a Proxy as a footstool with a $20 offering to his master mispelling his name as "Splendor Man" ignoring his orders in a hoodie with an operator symbol on the hood with a banner saying "Tiger In The Woods" with a spider man mask donating to bird sanctuaries.
DeleteAnyone with me?
All in favor say Aye!
DeleteAYE!!!
Donating to bird sanctuaries?! Now that... is simply unforgivable.
DeleteWe do weekly cupcake sales to raise money; do stop by!
DeleteNowww, you're one of the evil ones, aren't you sir?
Fuck your cupcakes. Go choke on a chicken!
DeleteSide note, I don't consider myself to be evil, no.
If I didn't do this shit, someone else would have to. Might as well get it right the first time. Less people die that way.
This is "LESS"? Well shit. I would hate to get on your bad side sir. Much less the "Bounty Board".
DeleteSanna, the Bounty Board seems to be a joke. How many people on that board are dead?
DeleteOne. One person.
Obviously someone's not doing their job.
The point of the bounty board is for someone else to kill them.
DeleteWell then, everyone isn't doing a good job.
DeleteIf you want them dead so badly, why don't YOU go kill them?
They aren't a priority objective. If I had unlimited resources and man power, it would be done.
DeleteUgh. You're so self absorbed. People don't fucking need leaders, idiot
ReplyDeleteI uh... what? Where does self absorbed play into that?
DeleteI could be misguided? Or any variation of wrong I suppose. I could be an ass for picking on a complete stranger for no reason.
Where does self absorbed come in, Nat?
You're so desperate for the attention that you make shit harder on yourself by calling a runner a Sage-a title you have no right to give in the first place.
DeleteYou're desperate for attention, because no one gives a fuck about you anymore.
You're desperate for controversy because in peacetime you're useless.
And you're desperate for people better and stronger than you to work for you so your dick feels bigger or something.
Dumbass.
Okay, lets go through the list I guess.
DeleteI'm not desperate for attention. If ever I should find myself desperate for attention I know a few places where a handful of one dollar bills can get me all the attention I care to have.
Fuck you, the sages were and still very much are a joke. I have every right to shell out the meaningless title.
And how the fuck am I useless? I'm a Doctor. I'll always be needed and will always have a use. Accidents happen.
And are you really bringing up the job offer? Listen bitch, if I wanted to hire someone to make my dick bigger, I'd hire a guy with a hammer because swelling is about the only thing in this world that can actually make your dick bigger.
I offered to hire you because you're good at what you do and it would benefit Father to have you on his side.
Cunt.
And yet...you gave her the title of 'Sage'.
ReplyDeleteFracture, none of us ever called her a Sage. But the fact that you've seen fit to call her a Sage means that even you, a PROXY, can see that she has what it takes.
And may I just say, that is pure hilarity.
Why should you care about Med unless she's a threat?
That must mean...she IS a threat to you. And maybe, just MAYBE, she's a threat to the Big Bad Octopus as well.
Gabriella has a point. Though I think going back to an outdated system and expecting it to work better this time around is silly.
ReplyDeleteTrue insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
DeleteGuys, our goal is NOT to go insane. Our goal is to destroy the faceless octopus.
I... want to pick at your flaws in logic but I refuse to be goaded into helping you by my own hubris.
DeleteOh boy. A poet. God I love proxy/poets who actually write their laughs.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how you'd go out of your way to write prose about how non-threatening Med is compared to dead people. That sure served a purpose.
She's not a threat because she vaguely resembles some bullshit class system that no one cares about in the slightest anymore.
She's a threat because she's a badass with a brain who applies herself.
Which is more than I can say for you.
Hahahahaha
Delete^Just for you. ^-^
Let us all forget the dead, because fuck them. What have they done us lately, right?
And my god, you'e right. No one cares about this class system. That's why more blogging runners than I even knew existed anymore showed up to comment on me invoking it. How could I have been so foolish.
And I'm so with you on her not being a threat because of a title she doesn't deserve. She's a threat because of that inner feral creature that'll rip off your ears with it's bear teeth.
Which is indeed far more than I can say for any decent human being, much less myself.
Also, an afterthought...
ReplyDeleteSo, Duckie was the one who said that? I don't even know WHO he is. All I know is that he was a Proxy.
And where exactly is Duckie now? Oh, yes, that's right. HE'S DEAD.
3...2...1... and...!
DeleteGODDAMNIT! Duckie IS NOT DEAD. But so help me god, I WILL FIX THAT.
DeleteYou hear me Fracture? I'm coming for him. THEN I'M COMING FOR YOU.
Who the heck WAS he anyway? Better yet, why does Firecracker care so much about it? Did Fracture somehow destroy Duckie?
DeleteI'd really appreciate some clarification here, people.
Well, Duckies story started here.
DeleteDuckie explains what he did to her here.
Duckie died here.
Hehehe
ReplyDeleteWhenever I need a good laugh I can count on you Fracture. I just find it funny how you think you know how it all works.
It's true we lost hope if only for a short while. When we began to lose some of our most experienced runners. But the runners grow in strength and in numbers everyday. Eventually someone will find a way to kill slendy bastard.
Where will that leave you I wonder?
In this case Fracture your fucked.
-Roy
Ps: I agree with miss annalee I wouldnt call Med a sage she's just a badass with a brain.
There is some poetic irony in that post line. Let me know if you figure out your mistake.
DeleteGlad I can make you laugh though. Its really the proper thing to do for the dead, damned, doomed, and dying you know.
Laughter is the best medicine after all, believe me, I'm a Doctor.
As for where that will leave me... well I'm a doctor with a PHD and full certification so... I guess I'll just go back to that or something. Take up a hobby.
Not that I think any of you apes has it in you kill father, now or ever. I could put a million of you in a room together to try to figure this out and you all would still write me a tragedy.
Every. Single. Time.
Its sad really.
-Lord Guardian Fracture
PS: I wouldn't call Med a Sage either in all honesty. She's a feral monster with sharp teeth.
Tell me, what's your angle? Who do you associate with, runners, or a certain tall, faceless entity?
ReplyDelete... Who do I associate with?
DeleteWe used to have Sages, but now we have Fools. And perhaps we are the better for it -- for do not Fools reflect our own futility? We are all on Fools Errands, you see. Sages sought to stop, but Fools seek only to fool.
ReplyDeleteSo, then, tell me: are you a Fool? Or merely foolish?
I'm Fracture.
DeleteF-r-a-c- -t-u-r-e.
The Lord Guardian Fraction.
You didn't even have fool like 3 days ago. They all disappeared.
I'd say you still don't have any personally.
You didn't even have fool like 3 days ago. They all disappeared.
DeleteIs that not what they are good at? Disappearing?
The Lord Guardian Fraction.
And, if I may ask, what do you guard?
"The Lord Guardian Fraction" <--- I hate this stupid little device.
DeleteIn regards to fools, I have no idea, you tell me.
And what do I guard? People. As many as I can.
Hm, it may have been a typo, but I do think it fits: you are a Fraction. You are not a whole number, only a piece.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSometimes a typo is just a typo. But if I'm a Fraction, then that fraction is 2/1.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWell that's embarrassing.
DeleteChallenge accepted, Fracture.
ReplyDeleteOn one condition. I need you to get a rabies shot. I don't trust you not to bite me you feral diseased riddled thing you.
DeleteFracture, you're the doctor here. You provide the rabies shot.
DeleteFuck that, she'll bite me while I'm still trying to get the needle in.
Delete:D You know me so well.
DeleteSo very well :D
DeleteThe Sages were never anything more than a crutch... and a broken one at that.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteMuch like policemen, firemen, doctors, or guidance counselors.
DeleteSuch dependencies really hold you back from true self sufficiency you know. You gotta let go of those crutches. You gotta stand on your own two feet.
It's nice to know you can still make me laugh.
ReplyDeleteYou never fail to amuse or entertain me no matter what darkness I find myself surrounded by.
I am so often surrounded by darkness these days...
~The Third
Darling, you are darkness these days.
Delete