“May peace never
find you, may loss ever haunt you.
When death finally finds you, I hope you’ve nothing left to lose... AHH!”
-Sierra’s Last words
When death finally finds you, I hope you’ve nothing left to lose... AHH!”
-Sierra’s Last words
So after a busy afternoon of burning everything Mr. Duck owned while he was out, save for the list of course, I made a fascinating discovery!
Seems Mr. Duck wrote a last will and testament, fancy that. No idea what it said, I lit it on fire. But as the last person to have ever seen it I think I’ll take three shares of EVERYTHING. Well… everything but some dirty spoon that couldn’t catch fire. I gave that to Trent! You know, because I’m like super nice and shit. There really wasn’t much left over after I was done burning stuff. Nothing but a spoon… oh, and my brother’s fucking sword. Apparently Mr. Duck has been lugging it around with him, which is super fucking creepy.
It was never his to have, ever. EVER, EVER, EVER! Not after what he did with it.
And finally an opportunity to make him pay,
Ember called me the other day. Seems Ember can’t find Mr. Duck alone. Having spent a year hunting him made ME of ALL people, the leading expert in duck hunting.
“You’ll serve a purpose yet.”
So Ember and I are going to go find him tomorrow.
And as weak as he should be by now, I’m finally going to KILL THE LIVING SHIT out of him and with the very sword that started it all!
“Now, now. Be a good girl.”
ARRRUUUGH!
Probably… I… Fuck… I have a headache.
I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. But just in case this message is on a delay so Ember shouldn’t see it till our hunt starts.
God I hope Mr. Duck dies this time.
I hope he finally bleeds… I PRAY HE SCREAMS.
Hmmm. What are the odds you will end up dead instead of him?
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure which obvious statement I want to make here that you may not even get to read. The one about how many times does Swan have to stomp your ass (and every one else's around him) before you realize this folly of yours is a lost cause? Or the one where I point out you have no idea what Ember is capable of and he stands just as much if not greater chance of killing you as Swan?
ReplyDeleteTrack records sweetie... for fucks sake.
Trent?
Delete...
DeleteCool, I'm possibly smarter than everyone. Props me.
DeleteThey all just kinda leave you there alone buddy?
_ . _ _
Delete.
. . .
Well that was terribly rude of them, now wasn't it?
DeleteYou should send them all voice messages that are ten minutes of straight dead air.
DeleteFirecracker, dear? Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself...?
ReplyDeleteYou're going to be pissing off Swan and Ember. Not a good idea.
Well...that's.....ominous?
DeleteOhh, Swan. Don't die on me, you son of a bitch.
Delete