Squad Member 3 - Firecrackers in the... Fog?

It’s so foggy… I don’t understand… am I killing someone right now?
I should be covered in blood if I was…
Why am I…?

…

Firecracker… I’m supposed to be talking about Firecracker.

La, la la… FOCUS.

… la la, la la, la la la, la, lala, la la.

She’s my new squad mate. She is not new though… although she stopped… trying to kill me. She’s still so angry though. Her furious grimace when she looks at me… is piercing.

Blah, blah, blah. Fucking spit it out already. It’s Picasso. Fracture showed up with her earlier at… some point? She said she forgives me… I was afraid she had lost her fire.  I said… something, and she punched me so I’m pretty sure she still has it. To keep tradition with Fracture, I renamed her Firecracker after… that cold angry bitch. Fitting…

I should explain why she glued pieces of her mask to her face when she was hunting me…
It’s a practice the Maskless had instead of wearing masks… there was all kinds of symbolism and rules and other stupid shit to it. They could tell… if you were really one of them based on how the pieces were attached… Even told them your job and purpose and shit…. So she did that to try to piss me off. Guess that’s my fault for telling her about them before the incident with her brother…Fucking words… ruining faces…

It looks good on her I guess… scary… kind of… maybe…?

She punched me again this morning…

“YoU LooK like sHit,” she said.
“Fuck you too.”

And then she punched me. I don’t know that I deserved that one…? Maybe I said it wrong?

Never got along with the last Firecracker either…
I can remember us fighting. I was so much shorter then… right?

...

“Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked. Her tone was different. I thought she had something serious to talk about.

“Uh,… sure I guess?” I said from behind my mask. I was still ugly then. My face… so torn. I had to wear my mask at all times. Felt cold without it… I followed her out into the hallway.

She thought for a few seconds and rubbed her arms. It looked like something was wrong. “I was just thinking… could we go out? I’ll even let you do that thing you do with marking masks if you promise not to ruin it.”

I had to study her for a minute… she was so pretty… but I knew better. People are ugly. “You're fucking with me, aren't you?”

She stopped for a minute… that piercing scowl… “Of course I am. Who could ever like your fugly ass Mr. Ugly fuck.”

That was really my fault for thinking… she had something important to say to me…

And it was really her own fault she fell down the stairs. I mean, who is stupid enough to pull that kind of shit in front of a stairway…? Just took one quick push…

She wasn't nearly as pretty with that gash on her face… although it left a pretty scar later… cold bitch…

...

WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FOGGY!!

I need to lie down… sleep it out. Fog is a disadvantage… can’t see them coming…

Mr. Fugly Fuck out… or something…

Cuddles and Rainbows

Please ignore the title. My overseers are a little bit sore at me still and apparently one of them thought this was funny. My first instinct was to throw this machine at the wall. I actually did that. Can't see in the corner of the screen anymore.

It occurs to me that this is what they're looking for. Reasons to cut me lose. I'm trying not to give them but it's difficult. I'm calmer then I have been in two years but all I can think about is how much I want to break the doctors bones. I want to hear them snap. I slug him whenever hes stupid enough to make eye contact. I'm finding it hard to stop at a slug though. He's fortunate to have caught on. I need to stop hurting my help but he keeps pissing me off. I had friends once,... I couldn't have always been like this. Right?

The doctor deserves at least as much as I've given though. I'm almost certain.
All that aside I'm actually feeling pretty good. Stitches are holding and I can see properly again. I would be absolutely peachy if I could take down this stupid blog. I hate that this is seen. I promised I wouldn't try to scare off viewers anymore but I have a panic attack every time I see that I have more views. I dig my nails into my flesh every time I see a new comment.

I'm told this will help in the long run but I think they just want to see me destroy myself slowly.
They believe my mental break down was caused by my Anthropophobia. Its a fancy word. It means people are monsters and can't be trusted. I could see where they might think that's what caused it.

They gave me rules.
1. I must follow 6 blogs at any one time.
2. I must respond to any post I read reguardless of how inappropriate that might be.
3. I must post on this blog atleast once a week.
4. I must respond to any comment made on this blog reguardless of how inappropriate that might be.
5. No more profanity. This is also rule 6 though 10.

I'm told failure to obey will end in punishment.
I have no friends, possessions, or position. I would hope that means humiliating me further but I halfta assume that will get old. So if I piss them off enough they'll probably just off me. I hope the doctor gets to do it. He has to want to by now.