Sunday, August 31, 2014

       But I Love It

Father thrust me deep into Darkness,
So I may better learn to love my Light.
For with every soul I can not save,
It darkens with Bitterness and Spite.
Surrounded by this Madness,
I no longer know whats Right.
Father, thrust me deeper into Darkness still.
Push me far, use all your Might!
Please... let there still be some Light.


So... I've held back on this one. For quite a while in fact. The likes of this and this have already been out for nearly a week.

The incredibly useless accounts of the assholes that showed up to my grand fucking finale with fucking earplugs of things.

And don't even get he started on my problems that shithead's Sloth's telling of my farewell call. Who the fuck can't go a single line of fucking dialog without cramming arbitrary internal exposition in. I mean who does that? Seriously, who the fuck does that?! This isn't documentary. You're not Bear fucking Grills.

God damn it. He had one job.  See what happens, tell what happens, and reiterate my call. Handle my finale with fucking grace and dignity. I just... wanted to leave on a strong note, you know? Stand up up tall and leave with some dignity.

Now I have to tell my own proper good bye. And that's not cool. Its narcissistic. I can't help feeling like I deserve better than that. Its a narcissistic fucking loop. A black hole of self indulgent shit. 

Its smut.

Fine smut. The gentlemanly kind... or something.

Whatever.  You want something done right, you narcissism the shit out of it. 


Of course I'm right. I'm me.

I'm gonna go ahead and retell the story as if you didn't know the ending, for as far as I know you don't yet.

So, I called out Picasso, Moth, Nat, Sloth and their brigade of renegade proxy pals to settle things once and for all. By that point it had already come out that they, through Father's behind the scenes manipulation and through orders he had been issuing my subordinates behind my back, were in fact working for my boss and lord the Slender Man (A.K.A. Father). Jeez that sentence is a mouthful.

I suppose my first mistake was boasting that I could use Whisper to force them all into submission... its why they came with the earplugs.

But I didn't actually bring Whisper. I had deduced that I would not actually need him. Picasso and her cronies wouldn't require it. If they were an actual threat, I might have brought whisper. Hell, I might have taken David up on his and let him help to... well no. I guess I wouldn't. You can't fucking trust David. Or at least I can't. We'll call back to that later.

So I didn't bring anyone else but Duckie. Duckie was all I needed... that and snacks. I made a food run while we were waiting for Day to break.

Setting up for a meeting like this was easy. I mean, I practically teleport so I was able to just pop in the necessary lighting equipment to the places I would need them on the roof... just can't teleport food... or living organic matter, it spoils.

Funnily enough I actually bumped into Sloth and Nat shopping while I was on my food run. That uh... could not have been more awkward.

I decided against moving around after that. We just climbed up on the roof, and waited... for like hours. They took their sweet ass time there.

I made some small talk with Duckie.

"You sure you want to do this big guy?" I asked reaching over and patting his shoulder.

He stood there unflinchingly for a long time before he finally decided to respond. And when he did, his words couldn't have made me proud.

All he said was, "Fathers will be done."

That poor boy never lost Faith.

At long last I could hear someone coming. I climbed up on the back rest of my chair to ready self. I could see Duckie tense up and relax to my left. He was nervous.

One by one every piled up on the roof across from us. Picasso, Moth, Nat, Sloth, Navi, and Vallus.

So I gave them a proper greeting and turned on the blindingly bright lights I had meticulously teleported in.

They looked pleasantly surprised... or just surprised I guess. More horrified and surprised? Hard to say. Nat's jaw practically dropped and she and the others kept looking out at the other roof tops... if I had to guess they were looking for my sniper. I hindsight, I probably shouldn't have brought the lighting out.

I mean, sure it adds a little oomph to the situation but apparently it combined with the knowledge that I have a highly trained sniper on my roster is very... distracting.

There are just so many little things I would have done differently in hindsight.

So, upon there arrival I immediately dove into my theatrics.

I threw up my hands and yelled, "Welcome! Let's get this execution started shall we!"

... Under the humming of the light I heard... foot steps behind me... and ambush? Strange. Nothing I could turn to deal with at that exact moment though. If I turned my back on the angry mob in front of me they'd bum rush me. He remain composed...

I dropped off the back rest of my chair onto my feet and proceeded to walk around the chair to better greet my guests, hopefully moving further away from the source of the noise. It was about then that I realized something was wrong... you know. Beyond what I had anticipated and beyond who ever was trying to sneak up on me.

Picasso was as mess but that was the thing I saw coming. Her hair was everywhere. She was in food and blood stained clothes. It looked like both she and her clothes had not been changed or washed for several weeks. She was drooling. Practically frothing at the mouth in anticipation. Her eyes glued on Duckie as she made gnarling noises at him and used her teeth to make biting noises. 

When I greeted everyone, she was the only one to respond to me. 

Nat and the rest of the sane people were working themselves up for the fight they were anticipating silently with looks to each other and gestures. Moth held up his spear in a little hoorah motion but nobody fucking responded to me. No one but crazy girl. 

She called out at me in double speak showing Father's influences over her on her sleeves as he screamed through her. "FUCK FACE!"

I did the only sensible thing you could possibly do in that situation. I gave that bitch the hand and pointed at her friends.

"Uh... whats wrong with them. I was expecting more... wisecracks and insults. If nothing else far more cussing."

I could see the curiosity creep in through Picasso's serious face proving something of her was still there. She leaned back a bit to look for herself and noticed something I couldn't see from my vantage point and broke out laughing.

"What? What is it."

"Th-They, hahahaha, they have ear plugs on. How do you like that, hahahaha," she said laughing at me before suddenly and violent jerking herself quiet into an awkward upright position. When she spoke again she spoke in that deep furious double talk once more. "They're TIRED of listening to your BULLSHIT too."

I couldn't help but sigh. All the fucking effort I went through setting up this little show and they couldn't fucking hear me. I groaned rubbed the top of the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"This is bullshit."

"It's time to DIE Fuck face!"

I once again through my hand out at Picasso. Specifically my finger. My index finger.

"Oh yeah. Is this your glorious victory. Is the only way for you to beat Duckie to team up on him with five other fucking people?!"

She stopped mid-step... hesitated. That insult struck deep and for a moment her face was taken with an expression of pain and realization before quickly snapping back to it's furious scowl.

"FUCK YOU FUCK FACE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" she yelled pulling out her axes and holding one out in front of her in my direction.

Everyone else, seeing this motion, took a stance and prepared to charge. Picasso hissed and whipped around to face them, putting out a hand to inform them to stop. "MINE!" she screamed out, clearly devolving further before out very eyes.

Despite being unable to hear her, they all backed down. He body language was certainly loud enough for everyone to hear.

Then she whipped back around towards me and Duckie and took several steps forward before slamming her foot into the ground with such force I swear it cracked the roof beneath her foot. "YOU. ME. SETTLE THIS NOW!"

She took her fighting stance. Duckie took his. I pulled my gun out behind Duckie's back where she couldn't see it and started walking forward until I was right behind Duckie.

"That's right. We're gonna settle this once and for all. There will be no question who was right all along after this. At long last, something that should have been done a long time ago will finally be fixed."

Picasso grew impatient. She wasn't willing to wait until the end of my little rant to see this done. Mid way through the monologue she broke into a mad dash towards us with her axes out at her side in either hand ready to kill Duckie or die trying.

... And I couldn't let that happen. I cocked my gun and aimed for the sure shot, firing true... and killing Duckie instantly... or uh... instantly enough... brains and blood splatted out the back of his head and lightly coated me... my gun... my hand... 

Duckie was twitching on the floor... very dead. There was no saving him... but he was doing this unnerving twitching thing... wouldn't stop fucking twitching. I might have kicked him still but my attention was called elsewhere when Picasso started screaming bloody fucking murder.

  I could see everyone behind her was sharing concerned looks of confusion. The look on Sloth's face was priceless. Just the... absolute... disbelief...

Didn't have time to relish in it. Picasso stopped screaming and pulled herself to her feet. She started charging at me again, yelling "THAT WAS MINE!"

But this time when she spoke, the double speak was gone. It was just her now. 

See... I didn't just execute Duckie for fun... when I realized Father wasn't ever gonna rest as long as I had him, I made Father deal. If I, me specifically, killed Duckie he agreed that he would set all of this right and fix Picasso for me. Not to be out done, I talked him into throwing Moth into the deal too. For the cost of one life, Duckie's, I would save two, Picasso's and Moth's. Terms I did not personally acceptable in the least... but ones I could learn to live with.

I heard the sound of footsteps right behind me... literally right at my back. Whoever the fuck that was had made it all the way behind me without me noticing and decided against attacking and retreated. I tried to get a glimpse over my shoulder but I was in hurry and couldn't really turn to look. I had an angry bitch charging headlong at me.

I threw up a finger again, this time pointing behind Sloth and the others. Something that confused them greatly as they tried to follow what I was pointing at. Something that toppled them all over onto their asses when they realized it was there.

Father, stood before them rising tale in his glory. "I kept my side of the bargain! Keep yours! Fix her!" I yelled at his.

I could hear him growling. If he didn't have a deal to up hold, he'd have been ripping limbs from my body for my insolence. He threw out his arms and snagged Picasso from across the roof just as she was jumping at me. Her ax came less than an inch from my face as she was slammed hard into the ground behind for.

Father's tendrils started at her feet and wrapped along her legs, past her waist, up her chest, around her neck, and then up against her cheek.

Picasso spent the better half of this process struggling and screaming.

"I'm GONNA kill you fuck face IF ITS the LAST thing I ever FUCKING DO! Do YOU hear me?! I'm gonna KILL you. I FUCKING SWEAR IT. I'M GONNA SHOVE THIS AX SO FAR UP YOUR AS-"

And before she could finish that vulgar thought Father crammed a tendril through her left eye and she started twitching and seizing. She would continue to do so for about the next twenty minutes, long after Father had withdrawn his tendrils and disappeared. Nat and company would spend that time staring on in disbelief in a defensive posture.

Of course they still had their fucking earplugs in and had no fucking clue what was going on. Useless assholes.
I clench my fist and violently ripped open a Path portal back to the Free Market compound. I motioned at their ears in hopes they would get the message and pull their plugs out.

They proceeded to stare at me like retarded turkeys on the slaughter assembly line. Following a short groan and a quick break to rub the bridge of my nose in frustration again, I tele-stepped over to Moth and ripped that fucking spear out of his and gave that masked face of his a good slap before pulling out one of his earplugs myself and yelling in his ear while point out Picasso and the Path portal.

"Are you just gonna fucking stand there?! You're my bitch again now. Get back to work. Shes hurt. Get her ass home!"

He took a moment to stare at me in disbelief before running over and scooping up Picasso and carrying her off into the portal.

I pulled out my notepad and wrote a note for Nat as I made my way over to her.

It read, ''There's a hospital in there.' Which was true enough. I had my medical team waiting at attention back at the compound in case anything went wrong.

While she took a moment to try to read and make sense of the note, I pulled my gun and shot Sloth in the gut.

Nat looked furious but she looked more concerned for Sloth. After a moment of deliberation, she scooped him up too and booked it through the portal. Navi and Vallus took the opportunity to try to attack me. I saw their shadows making their way at me and tele-stepped out of the way.

I pointed my gun at them from across the roof. They hesitated and stopped a moment. I motioned at their ears. They finally got the message and each pulled a plug out from one of their ears with their free hand.

"You two planning to abandoning your friends to hang out here and fight me?" I asked. Navi looked over at the portal and back at me before cussing and darting for the portal.

Vallus stood her ground. 

"... What are you waiting for? Go!"

She stared a moment longer before she finally answered.



"I said no. You're not fooling me. I know where that goes and I'm not going back! When I left you and the compound, it was for good!"

I tele-stepped right in front of her to scowled her in person for dramatic effect. "Quit acting like a fucking child and get your ass home!" I yelled pointing towards the portal.

She took the opportunity to shove me on my ass.

"I'm not acting like a child!" she yelled from over me, glaring down at me from up high. She pulled out her mask and snapped it in two over her knee before me and throw the pieces at me. "And I'm certainly done listening to you," she stated calmly before making her way back to the fire escaped and taking her leave of me... and the Free Market.

Just one last thing to take care of. The fucker that tried to stab me in the back in the middle of my theatrics.

I pushed myself back to my feet and whistled aloud. "Maggot, you little shit. I know you're out here," I yelled. David had called and let me know ahead of time that Maggot had taken off from it's post. I had a hunch it might tried to kill itself if it found out I was going up against Father.

Such a loyal dog. Some of my finer work, truly.

Sure enough, Maggot whistled back. It had managed to get behind me again. I whipped around and there it was, Black coat and all white clothes with it's pearly white mask. It's knife was, thankly, tucked away.

"You shouldn't have-"

I didn't get to finish that thought. Maggot ran over and slammed its heel into my shin and then tackled my to the ground in a painful and awkward hug. More painful than anything else really.

When I was done whincing and yelling in pain, I pushed it off of me and patted it's head. "Yeah, yeah. Little shit. Stay here a moment okay? Take you back in a minute."

Maggot nodded and off I went to the Free Market to check on Picasso.

[If you want to know what happened to every one that went into the portal, its the first thing I linked above. I have no idea whats become of Vallus. Shes out in the world... somewhere.]

She was doing okay. Stable vitals... her eye was still there... mostly. The one Father rammed his tendril through was still there but it had taken on a whiter color... like the whole thing had cataracted  over. 

Moth was on the other side of the bed pacing nervously. He was visibly unnerved by my presence but seems to be taking it as a given at this point that I was in charge again, one of the reasons I had father do this in front of him on my in person request. So he would know to listen to me again. Moth is a delightfully simple soul.

I rested a hand on Picasso's shoulder a minute. I had ever intent on leaving then but recognition suddenly sprang forth in her dead stare and she slowly turned over to look at me. 

She sounded so exhausted and weak. "Franky?" she asked giving me a funny look.

I help back I bright grin. It had been a really long time since she had called me that. I could see Moth was quite surprised himself from his side of the room. He rushed over to her other side.

"Fracture. Its Fracture," I teases back to her acting like... nothing over the corpse of the last six years had happened. 

She gave me a weak shove with one hand. "Yeah, whatever Franky. Ridiculous code names."

"Its better than Pa-Ka-So. Three cherry picked syllables from your name. How incredibly fucking original."

She gave me a harder shove. "Hey! That's a secret. You promised not tell! You always have to keep your promises no matter what," she said curling back into bed. She was tired and trying to doze off on me.

But my eyes went wide. I felt my heart sink when she said that. I was cursing like crazy in my head.

"Come now. Not every promise is something you have to keep. Thing change. You have to be flexible with that kind of thing."

All I got out of her from there was. "Always," as she drifted off into her dreams.

Ominous. Truly.

So I went back to Maggot dropped it off at it's place. Its a bit of loner. It wanted a bit of time to itself. I spent that time doing movies and ice cream and shit.

Sometime early on to that Sloth and Nat called. You can check that in the second thing I linked above. I'm not writing out the whole conversation again. This post is long enough as it is.

And of course, while me and Maggot were out enjoying a well deserved break, this and this happened.

... Can't help feeling like that is somehow all Maggot's fault for not being there...

So I called our vacations short and drove Maggot back to Banks. That took some coordinated efforts with banks himself. He was on the move and I needed him to stop so he could take Maggot back in. 

So once I was sure we were about five miles away I kicked Maggot out of the car and told the little shit to start marching. No force on this earth will ever make me come within five miles of that fucker again.

He's promised me a fate and a pain worse than anything he has ever inflicted on any one over the very long course of his very storied career. And he, like Picasso, is very good keen on keeping his word... so Maggot can fucking walk.

Now that vacation is over, its time I got back to work too. Starting with this post. If you read the post by Sloth that I linked way at the top of the page, you know know I'm stepping away from the Free Market.

That's not say that I'm doing working though. I still have my duties as the Lord Guardian to carry out. I still have a Fire Cult to help direct. Still much to do to try to put the other fears back in their places and quite frankly I have no idea where to start. And all that pales in comparison to the blood sacrifice I have to organize.

Mine is a busy soul. The Free Market, though a passion project and a beautiful effort in philanthropy, has unfortunately been slowing down and it's Sloth's problem now.

Good luck shit head. See you all around.

The Lord Guardian Fracture. 


  1. You self obsessed little fuck. I still hope someone takes you down.

    1. God damn it, you are the bitchiest bitch in Saint Bitchburg U.S.B.

      What have I even done to you at this point? Huh? Name one thing.

    2. To me? Very little. To my friends? Quite a lot. And that I don't forgive.

    3. One of these days that Eternal Wrath of yours is gonna cost you more friends than it saves.

    4. Yeah? How many friends do you have right now, fucker?

    5. Maggot, Picasso, got an awkward phone thing going with David that's friendship like, then there's my fuck buddy, Med likes to pretend we're friends, Me and Ivan are bros, Whisper and I play Magic and DnD together, Tempest wants to be my friend but would sooner strike me with lightning than admit it, and then of course there was Alex.

  2. I do keep promises. And I think it is important. But it is true that some promises become neither important nor practical over time. And then...

    Well I suppose you're right. You have to be flexible.

    1. I trust you David and I believe you mean that. But more than either of those I want to keep my skin and a hair... and teeth... organs... finger nails.

      You know, that classic age old dilemma of a friend or a future. No offence. Caution is a virtue or something.

    2. It is? Really? You sure?

    3. If nothing else I'm sure it qualifies as something.

    4. Everything qualifies as something.

      Here. let's just settle this.

      I, David Banks, recant my previous promise on grounds of now actually getting to know Fracture and by some really strange turn of events do not have any conflict of interest with him whatsoever. Furthermore I will make an amended promise that not only will I /not/ torture him, but in the case of him visiting will protect him as much as any other stray I take in.

      Which at the moment is... pretty ineffectually. But I try.

    5. Awww. That was beautiful.... I... Fine.

      I, Fracture, who has suddenly adopted this writing format for no apparent reason, will choose to willfully trust you and will no longer hesitate to get within five miles of you.

      P.S. Suck it Nat.

      P.S.S. Hahahahahahahaha.

  3. *sigh* this is fucking great. Didn't even have to try looking for a lead. Shame it's you...
    Do you have the sword?

    1. can't we be nice? We can do this the easy way... please.

    2. The sword can not help you. Whatever it was, if ever it was a beacon of hope, its not now.

      You should stop looking to failed sages for hope. If there is any to be hand, it's in hands Med, or David, or a third unnamed soul.

      Do not let zero's legacy drag you six feet under with him.

    3. Please tell that to Edward. I want nothing to do with this anymore.

  4. Replies
    1. Did someone finally set you free?

    2. I did it myself.

      I'd have liked to have seen Duckie again.

      Is there a grave?

    3. I didn't mention it in the post... but Father took the body.

    4. In that case I will find a place of my own.
      Somewhere to mourn him myself.

  5. I find it interesting that someone who clearly enjoys his position as much as you do would step down. I am curious what you intend to do next. You were fairly vague about it.

    1. I find it interesting to see a Collector go a little 'rogue' and dabble into analyst territory. That is a curiousity.

    2. When gathering information, it's only natural to analyze it a bit to make sense of it.