Friday, October 10, 2014

I Was Born Sick

But I love it!
Command me to be well?

I guess. Apparently.

I don't fucking know. Fracture sent that one one up. I just kind of finished it.

Sloth here. Or as they are calling me these days, the Lord Betrayer Sloth. I've got a whole fucking title and everything. I gotta say... that is way to much pressure. I don't think I can handle this. In fact, I know I can't handle this.

That's what I have people for. People can hand things. So I made all my people create blog accounts so they could write on my behalf too. Because believe you me, I wasn't about to let them onto my account. Last thing I need is my account picture suddenly becoming a penis or something. Because they've done that before.

I'm surrounded by 20 year old juveniles.

Lets name the cast.

First off is me. Sloth. I'm awesome, probably.

Then we have our second in command. The Lord Goddess Nat. Do not call her that, she'll rip your throat out. In fact, I'm gonna strike that out. It doesn't exist now. She'll be taking over my old job coordinating the Mask Cult. Interests include beating the shit out of you and everything you know and love. She also likes cats.

Next up is the head of the Mask Cult's sister cult, the Fire Cult. She is the Lord Fire Jen. Do not call her Jen though. She'll rip your throat out. In fact, I've already made this joke so we'll just underline it this time. Fuck you bitch. Stop changing my profile picture to dicks. Her interests include all fields of academia and lighting shit on fire with her mind. She, ironically, has no emotion... or something.

Last on the roster is  the Lord Devil Siera. Shes prefers to be called Siera and, like everyone else, has no idea why her codename is Devil. Shes an accountant. She is also an ex-drug lord and was Duckie's half sister. So also handles most out of house personal like your standard non-cult specific proxies and other such people who don't actually live at the Free Market but choose to take orders from us in exchange for money and security. She, like you, is the backbone of this operation. She is also a raging alcoholic.

As you might have noticed, we adopted a few blogs.

Picasso's blog has been fused with Wrath is Eternal. From the looks of its, its just gonna be her rambling but its nice to have the real Picasso back all the same. She said she wants to get back to proxy work and I guess she intends to drag Navi along with her. I guess we'll see how that works out.

Moth has decided to start his own blog. The aptly named, Wrath is Madness. His blog has also been fused with this one. He opened up with a recap of what brought us to where we are now so if you're curious as to why I'm in charge now instead of Fracture go read that. I guess hes gonna chronicle us sacrificing him to the 'Fire'... should be pretty metal.... I guess?

And last, Fracture is reviving his old blog. The White Coat Special. If you take up that blog, I suggest you take the newest posts advice and don't bother with the backlog. Its a lot of gibberish. Apparently he stole Jack and their off to kill shit and experiment and be pretentious assholes together. Its worth noting that Fracture is apparently still technically my boss... maybe... he claims to still be.... and that we didn't fuse his blog to ours. He fused himself to us forcibly. Such class.

If we keep to our schedules, these blogs should be updating bi-weekly... that is to say, every other week... is that bi-monthly? I have no idea. It'll be every other week. Except for maybe Fracture's blog. He'll do whatever the fuck he wants I'm sure.

The last exciting bit of new is a few changes I've made to the website. I added an item to the store in honor of Fracture who stepped down from his position but refuses to leave or stop meddling... apparently. We added the item before we realized that was gonna be the case.

We also added an Ethics page. No longer does the Free Market hunt runners. It is our duty to protect them while Father hunts them. We're very progressive here. This has actually been the case for a while now but the Ethics page should make that information either to find. There are also some rules in there that pertain to the entire Free Market and areas where the Free Market's influence extends. Do try to behave.

I'm debating taking down the bounty board. Feels dated. I don't know, what do you guys think?

Anyways, I'm gonna go take a nap and then try to eat an entire bag of apples on my own. You all stay beautiful and shit... you know... if you feel like it.

The Lord Betrayer Sloth out.


  1. If you know they would not want those names used, why even tell people about them?

    1. I feel like total transparency is important when it comes to something as trivial as a name. That way people won't question what things I'm keeping from them since I didn't hide anything trivial even though I probably should have.

    2. You have perhaps foiled that plan before it has started.

    3. Maybe I just want to pretend to be a deep badass or something. You don't know me. You're not my real mom.