Monday, May 14, 2012

Squad Member 00 - 'The Ugly Duck'

“H-he’s controlling you! You have to fight it!”
- A Runner

“Do you see an arm up my ass? This is me stabbing you! This is me laughing!”
- A Younger Swan

Ah, fond memories from a simpler time. I’ve really mellowed out since then, although I’m sure it’s hard for anyone reading this to imagine a more violent less stable me…

So I decided I’m going to introduce each squad member for Mask Squad with a post detailing my thoughts on them. Then I realized I was going to need to make a post for myself since I am going to be a part of my own squad. Not that I actually care to share who I am with a bunch of random assholes. Fracture says everything we say screams volumes about ourselves. So instead I’m just going to ramble and talk at you all.

First, I’d like to take a moment to declare the farce that is the united union of proxies under the bureaucracy. Hehe, that immediately got a yellow light. My greatest problem with it, with the exception of the people themselves because proxies are a bunch of bastards, is the name we’ve taken to. Proxy. It sounds so technical, just like the rest of the world has become in my absence.

I spent four years in what was roughly self isolation after my squad died. I came back to a world where my brothers somehow trusted each other enough to operate under one name and the assholes on the other side of the phone had taken to calling themselves the bureaucracy. Our heritage and traditions twisted further than they ever were before into business practices and an agenda…

I my day, we called ourselves masks. There were others, brothers all the same, who called themselves other things. They were Knives, Agents, the Hallowed, the Black Leaves, his Gentlemen, the Children, and those assholes, the Maskless. That’s just to name the few I had actually heard of. It’s funny now that the name Hallowed is synonymous with the hollowed. I don’t know that it’s true, but I just picture those self righteous assholes doing something so bad that the Master hollowed out all of them.

Back then some runners, as I’ve seen some of them that don’t blog still do, kept journals. They were little trophies to be claimed for our kills. I remember sitting down and reading them with our squad mates. That was how we found other runners and figured out how runners were changing as we changed. How they were adapting so we could counter adapt. People still had code names then. It was interesting seeing how often a runner would find another runner. It was funnier still when they fought with each other.

Although I guess the same could be said about us, both then and now. I knew proxies who kept journals. I personally thought that was the stupidest thing in the world… now I keep one online for the world to fucking see. Oh, how far I’ve fallen. And of course we fought and still fight each other. I don't imagine that will ever change. I don't know that I would want it to.

The point is, I can’t let go of the past. That time when we were not this thing we have become is very much still with me. That’s why I’ve named my squad the Masks, in honor of my old squad.

Ramble out.


  1. So you're on your own squad, that's a plot twist I didn't see coming. But yeah, all those journals runners keep are so useful. I love it when they basiclly do my job for me.

    1. It's a temporary squad. I don't think it'll last but I'm still going to try to give it a fair run. I can appreciate the sentiment behind the journals. Them doing their job for you as a result is a bonus.

  2. Oh, Swan. I was laughing my ass off within the first five seconds of reading.

    Something I've been meaning to ask you, though. I know that you consider yourself to be eight, but how many years were you around before you were "born properly?"

    1. I was ten when I finished my training and assigned my squad.

    2. Oh. Hey. We're the same biological age, then. Your cake day and my birthday even bookend the same month. Small world, eh?

    3. Na, big world. Lots of people. Having a lot of sex. Apparently within months of each other.

  3. ^Bowchikawowow~

    You with an arm up your ass, eh? Shoulder deep, ha! That's hilarious, really. The idea of you on a squad less so. Not something I'd expect but at the same time you could be quite the asset to any team. I do like what you have named your squad, it brings forth some curious things to ponder on.

    Hehe. Code names, they still exist. I've been around long enough to see the evolution of things. I do quite enjoy seeing runners adapt to you and yours, and vice versa naturally. It's fucking brilliant, just molding yourselves to your fullest potential for the sake of survival and other means. Funny, it's all very funny.

    1. I've been the root cause of so many squad mate's deaths... they were a bunch of bastards but they deserved their own glorious deaths, not the freak circus I made their deaths into. While I could be valuable on a team, I haven't been so far.

      And I quite agree. It's beautiful to watch people grow and adapt into something better and strong. Burning with a passion to survive.

    2. Do you not consider what you do with your own hands beautiful?

      Survive as long as they can, hehe. Likewise, it is interesting to watch your brethren react and adapt. When hunters become the hunted, or meet an unmovable object, so on and so forth with examples. I partially got into all of this just because of the evolution, and my curiosity for it.

    3. What I typically do is short and ugly. I can't afford to give everyone a beautiful death. I always win but I rarely come out of it in condition for another fight but my work demands I keep at it. Always more people to kill.

      Usually at least. They've got me back to work while I wait for my teammates to arrive but before that I was doing a whole lot of nothing.

      Things seem to change as much as they stay the same. We keep evolving but to the same end in the same game.

    4. Mm, what you view as short and ugly another might not. Perspectives, perspectives everywhere! Heh.
      And how is work going for you, deary?

      Exactly. Can only hope the ending is beautiful, to whatever degree.

    5. "You see what you want to see." Most important thing I was ever taught.

      Work is going well. I'm tracking a slipping one. I should be closing in on her real soon.

      It's important to remember that you have to earn a beautiful death. Not everyone can be so privileged.

    6. Such an important thing.

      Nice. You remember how I mentioned once before I'd love to hear a story or two? Would you mind if I requested one on a past hunt?

      This is true, but that also brings us to the prior: perspective. Heh, we just made a circle! Cute.

    7. Maybe I'll include a past hunt at the end of my next squad member report.

    8. And so I shall stay tuned, as per usual.