Tainted

"I suppose the word is tainted... like how I felt after I killed Lucas."

"The world is very tainted. I think it always has been."

"Pandora’s Box or the Apple of Eden… in history it has always been the act of a person that ruins the world."

“I don't know that anything is ruining this world. I think worlds die... just like people do."

"Which makes it all the more heartbreaking to kill."

"I don't know that I follow. I mean that logic tells me that every death is inevitable."

"But quickening it… preventing life."

"One death won't destroy this world... nor will it prevent new life."

"But their life, the possibilities their lives possess."

"You have to live for them. Honor their loss."

"Is that what you do?"

"Because I killed one, I have to kill them all... or it’s unfair to that one..."

"Then kill me."

"... I don't want to..."
La, la la


"If that is what you believe, kill me."

"Don't say that… I don't want to..."
La la, la la

"I do not wish you to either… but if that is what you believe..."

"Please stop it!"
La la, la la, la la, la

"I do not want you to kill me. But that feeling, right there.... That doubt but willingness to go through with it anyway... You too are a beautiful mess."

"I... like your mess better..."
La, la la

"Thank you… for struggling."

“…”

… That was almost that last time anyone would have seen Ember live…

I’ve been extra hard on Fracture these last few days. I’ve been so mad at him. He sets up a meeting for Ember and I. He didn’t bother to tell me that’s what it was though. I wouldn’t have shown…

Most of it was nice. We both needed a friend and for the most part we got along really well. There was coffee, movies, hot sauce, a stroll… and my favorite, a little sparring. I won.

And then there was that unfortunate conversation…

I agreed to a promise after that.
“Try not to kill your own side, my friend… I think that deep down you have some good in you.”
“I’ll try.”
“Promise?”
“… Yeah.”

I suppose I will at the very least try. Fucking proxies.

While the whole experience was not something I would be willing to give up, Fracture is still in hot shit. And it’s not because of him setting this up and it’s not because he keeps screaming my insecurities out for the world to see. That, at this point, is nothing new. I believe Fracture made a legitimate move on my life.

My time with Ember was interrupted by a proxy attack. It was an old war buddy whose life I ruined… one of many fires I have left burning. ‘Twin’. Someone sent her after me. She shouldn’t have been able to recognize my new face. Someone told her what to look for. Only Fracture and Ember know what I look like now…

Fracture smiled when I finally accused him today. It wasn’t his normal smile though. There was something haunting about it. He had to forcibly hide it away before he finally denied it. But I can still see it when he thinks I’m not paying attention. He has to stop himself every time I slug him.

Even now I can see it in the monitor’s reflection… that haunting, knowing smile.

I’m just going to have to treat this as another far more elaborate trial.
Time to up my game.