Thursday, April 19, 2012


"I suppose the word is tainted... like how I felt after I killed Lucas."

"The world is very tainted. I think it always has been."

"Pandora’s Box or the Apple of Eden… in history it has always been the act of a person that ruins the world."

“I don't know that anything is ruining this world. I think worlds die... just like people do."

"Which makes it all the more heartbreaking to kill."

"I don't know that I follow. I mean that logic tells me that every death is inevitable."

"But quickening it… preventing life."

"One death won't destroy this world... nor will it prevent new life."

"But their life, the possibilities their lives possess."

"You have to live for them. Honor their loss."

"Is that what you do?"

"Because I killed one, I have to kill them all... or it’s unfair to that one..."

"Then kill me."

"... I don't want to..."
La, la la

"If that is what you believe, kill me."

"Don't say that… I don't want to..."
La la, la la

"I do not wish you to either… but if that is what you believe..."

"Please stop it!"
La la, la la, la la, la

"I do not want you to kill me. But that feeling, right there.... That doubt but willingness to go through with it anyway... You too are a beautiful mess."

"I... like your mess better..."
La, la la

"Thank you… for struggling."


… That was almost that last time anyone would have seen Ember live…

I’ve been extra hard on Fracture these last few days. I’ve been so mad at him. He sets up a meeting for Ember and I. He didn’t bother to tell me that’s what it was though. I wouldn’t have shown…

Most of it was nice. We both needed a friend and for the most part we got along really well. There was coffee, movies, hot sauce, a stroll… and my favorite, a little sparring. I won.

And then there was that unfortunate conversation…

I agreed to a promise after that.
“Try not to kill your own side, my friend… I think that deep down you have some good in you.”
“I’ll try.”
“… Yeah.”

I suppose I will at the very least try. Fucking proxies.

While the whole experience was not something I would be willing to give up, Fracture is still in hot shit. And it’s not because of him setting this up and it’s not because he keeps screaming my insecurities out for the world to see. That, at this point, is nothing new. I believe Fracture made a legitimate move on my life.

My time with Ember was interrupted by a proxy attack. It was an old war buddy whose life I ruined… one of many fires I have left burning. ‘Twin’. Someone sent her after me. She shouldn’t have been able to recognize my new face. Someone told her what to look for. Only Fracture and Ember know what I look like now…

Fracture smiled when I finally accused him today. It wasn’t his normal smile though. There was something haunting about it. He had to forcibly hide it away before he finally denied it. But I can still see it when he thinks I’m not paying attention. He has to stop himself every time I slug him.

Even now I can see it in the monitor’s reflection… that haunting, knowing smile.

I’m just going to have to treat this as another far more elaborate trial.
Time to up my game.


  1. Replies
    1. Oh this is beautiful. I love this, I really do. What are you up to Fracture? Will it be fun? Will it be fun-ney? Will Goosey-boy suffer for it? I hope so. Put on a show, and know we are watching closely.
      Good Luck Doctor, hope Goose doesn't kill you.

    2. Sorry to disappoint you on this one. I'm going to make short work of this trial.

    3. So quick to assume you can see all the cards on the table Duckie. No wonder you're so easy to blind side like this. Get ready for a show dear Dr. Morningstar. Short or not, I'd going to make sure its a good one.


  2. God damn, Fracture. Are you....trying to commit suicide by.....oh god, shoot me for this pun, but-- suicide by proxy? You know that Swan is dangerous. One of these days, he's going to snap and turn you into a bloody smear on the carpet.

    You two trying to kill each other isn't helping your mutual state of misery.

    I do have to say though-- your little comment up there made me laugh a little harder than it should have, heh.

    1. That's simply not true. If I was dead I wouldn't have to deal with any of this shit anymore. Although if he dies they'll just send a new one. No real point to that.

      And how many times do I have to tell you to quit encouraging him?

    2. Pardon me for assuming that you'd like to keep on living, then.

      Listen, I encourage you as much as I encourage him. Actually- I'm pretty sure Fracture's told me not to encourage you more times than vice versa (beating him with a marker, anyone?). Do you want me to stop being encouraging alltogether?

    3. You are pardoned. That's probably not normal.

      I can't say I want you to stop being encouraging in general. Being encouraging is a sure sign of being positive or something. Just don't encourage Fracture. Because fuck him.

    4. I'll just keep vaguely putting positive vibes out there then, Swan. Does that suffice?

  3. Fracture's been a thorn in your side since the beginning, Swan. That's his job, and ignoring that will just get you killed.

    1. Ya, I'm kind of not allowed to kill Fracture and then there is that little promise I made...

      Not as if Fracture could take me on his own and he's not allowed to if he could. He knows that. It's why he brought in the Twin. I'll just tie up his stupid ass up when I leave home and sleep from now on. Once I run the Twin through I'll just have to keep tabs on him so he can't try to pull in other people to do his dirty work for him.

      Plus I'll make an effort to beat him extra hard so he can't grow the pair he'll need to pull this kind of shit again.

    2. I don't know what you're talking about Amy dear. I'm here to keep Subject 926 in a good mental state so he doesn't lose it again. Provoking him would be counter productive.

      ... And what's all this about tying me up now?

  4. Humorous; I like this development.

    1. I thought you would. Lucky you having the best seat in the house. Well, except for mine of course.

  5. I apologise for provoking you.
    It was not something a friend should do.
    Either way, remember that other promise you made me.
    I will try and keep my end of it as well.

    1. It's fine. A good friend probably wouldn't be able to kill their friends quite so easily...

      I'll remember that promise though.
      I have a pretty little mark to keep me reminded of it.

    2. Pretty little mark? Where? I already checked you for hickies. Is it somewhere naughty? Not very nice of you to kiss and tell like that Duckie.

    3. Fracture, I assure you.
      No sexual activity took place between us.
      No matter what your perverted little mind made of it.

      Also Swan could you punch him for me?

    4. For once, I..

      You know what?

      Staying out of this one.

      Til next time.

    5. I did you one better. I threw him off the roof.

      Dumb ass landed on his feet.

    6. I suppose a punch would have been better...
      But I cannot have too much
      of an issue with the fact you tried.

    7. Punch probably would have been easier on my back... I'm sorry or something?