So Much Fucking News

Well.

How about... news updates. Lets do the fucking news. New things are fucking fun and exciting. I'm sure you assholes can at least get a kick out of these.

First off Sage news. Rapist the Downer had a little update.

I had Maggot, my ward, a child of 10 spying on Mr. David Banks. Now, before I get a font of criticism, I can assure you that Maggot was in no any real danger. Maggot is quite capable. Maggot has even survived going toe to toe with Nat once. I think that speaks for itself. In fact, given David's extreme pro-children bend right now my little Maggot is probably in the safest place in the world.

I, however, have been threatened to experience quote, "The worst thing I've yet to do to anyone," by Mr. Banks as a result of him catching Maggot in the act. Which sounds unpleasant. Needless to say, there will be no afternoon tea between us any time soon.

To get him to stop sending Maggot away, I had to bribe him. In exchange for taking Maggot in so we may continue to observe and protect vested interests tied to Mr. Banks, I have agreed to double his bounty. Which I did last night rather suddenly without telling anyone. That extra $125,000 is money that all comes directly out of my pocket the day that asshole dies. I hope hes happy.

Now his murder is worth a quarter million. Great Job. Good Luck. Happy Hunting everyone.

...

Second bit of news this week, Couriers are suddenly a thing again. 

Here's hoping they don't implode on themselves again when their pet cross dresser gets murdered out of the blue. Just to keep the stakes high and leave that as a very real possibility I've sent Ivan to serve the group and assist in their efforts, whatever those efforts may be.

...Not that Ivan is a cross dresser mind you. But he is pretty like a girl and I snuck a dress into his luggage so tensions are high! It could happen again. The struggle is real!

And yes, that's right. I sent a proxy to unconditionally assist Couriers. They have limited support from the Free Market. 

We helped negotiate terms of safety to ensure their venture won't be a short lived. No proxy, hollow, or asset of the Free Market will see them done harm from now until the end time. In exchange they are willing to make deliveries from and to proxies. That said, I unfortunately can't guarantee their safety against any non-Free Market assets. But from what I've seen they are a capable bunch. They will undoubtedly manage until the cross dresser dies.

Now, my support of these new Couriers shouldn't really surprise anyone. We here at the Free Market are progressive, better proxies. We made an entire proclamation about it. That should probably get its own little page tab thing or something... 

We're hoping that supporting projects like this will help close the rift that separates Proxies and Runners. We are, after all, all Father's playthings.

...

And our final bit of news for the night is personal news.

That fucking ungrateful, ingrate, ass hat Helrick decided he didn't like the results of our last attempt to fix Picasso. So he took it upon himself to smuggle her out of here under the misguided impression that she would be better off further away from me. He is an idiot. Shes more unstable now than she ever has been before and there is no doubt in my mind that shes gonna kill him.

She may very well kill Moth, Nat, Navi, Sloth, and Vallus while shes at it. There's really no telling. Shes just that unstable.

Helrick did allude to the fact that someone helped them escape. Some else who worked for me. Someone I had already detained by the time he put the post up.

I've had to lock up Devil. Its become clear that shes assisting Sloth in his little coup against me. Even if I could overlook her feeding me drugs and letting me take naps as treatment for a concussion, her helping Picasso escape is a clear indicator of where her loyalties lie. I don't know why, but apparently she wants to see her Brother Duckie dead.

Which is funny. A long time a go she made me promise I would do everything in my power to look out for Duckie. You just never know what crazy stupid thing people are gonna turn around and do.

Shes been insisting that Sloth talked her into helping him but I'm not buying it. She was super into the well being of her brother. There's no way she was simply talked out of it. I think whatever fear is fucking with Picasso got to Devil too.

I'd have whisper forcibly extract the information I need from her to find out who is really behind all this but hes still out of commission and struggling to form words. So we've just resorted to good old fashion torture.

But Devil's a stubborn bitch and has thus far refused to spill. Not surprising, seeing as she is an ex-drug lord. But we can hurt her as much as we want for as long as we want as long as we have her in this loop. Little Jack has been having a lot of fun removing layers of muscle and skin. I'd probably have Maggot working on it too if the little shit was still around. 

Rest assured though, we will get our answers.

I'm quite done fucking around. This will be settled.

The Lord Guardian Fracture out.