Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Bounty Bomb

Ladies and gentlemen, Proxies and Runners, Assholes and other Assholes,
welcome to another wondrous random update from the Free Market from yours never, Fracture!

First up, as the title implies, I've done a few things to the Bounty Board.
Aside from a few, *ahem*, grammatical and spelling issues that I naturally had nothing to do with, I've uncrossed out Picasso's name. Turns out shes no longer dead and apparently never was, as impossible as that may seem after re-re-re-reviewing the footage of her bleeding to death in Moth's arms. I put off putting her back on the list for a long time but after a confirmed sighting from one of my own, it's similarly impossible to ignore that fact that she is alive.

Second up on the same front, Nightscream's bounty now reads that you will receive '$25,000' upon killing and presenting it's corpse as opposed to '25,000'. Apparently, this was an intentional oversight by the Oathbreakers when they submitted their offer to us to be put on the board. I suspect they were gonna stab who ever claimed the bounty 25,000 times as payment. You have my personal guarantee that you will receive money, not Death, should you successfully claim this bounty.

Last up on board changes, we have Arkady Svidrigailov. Hes a brand new bounty worth a whopping $100,000. He has been terrorizing Truth's Division and is wanted for the deaths of more than a dozen proxies, several runners, and numerous collateral civilians deaths. Hes threatened to burn the city he is in to the ground in order to purify it of all proxy influences and I have no doubt in my mind that the crazy son of a bitch would. Proceed with extreme caution.

Someone please bring the bastard down.

The Lord Guardian Fracture, out!

22 comments:

  1. Seems shit is hitting the windfarms on both sides of the pond.

    I don't think Arkady is going down as easily as chucking a tonne of proxies at him. Even if you do have him surrounded, he's bleedin mad, he wouldn't set us up with that speech aired on Diana's blog if he wasn't going to deliver.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't care how big he talks. At the end of the day, hes just human. Simply a man.

      Delete
    2. Hi Pot! Meet Kettle.

      -Raggedy

      Delete
    3. If you shoot me, I will die. I'm human. Simply a man.

      Alert the press, the secret is out.

      Delete
    4. You certainly talk big though.

      -Raggedy

      Delete
    5. What? You're all going to die and you all do horrendously stupid things. Forgive me for pointing out the obvious.

      Delete
  2. Only $100,000? I need to start trying harder.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh don't you start with me. That's the highest bounty I offer. If I raise yours, everyone is gonna want a higher bounty. And whose pocket does that come out of, Hmmm?

      Some people's children, I swear.

      Delete
    2. If I kill the other people on the bounty board, can I get to add their bounties to mine? Like if I kill David Banks, can that boost my bounty to $200,000?

      Delete
    3. Hmm... if you kill anyone on the bounty board who is wanted dead, sure. If you kill anyone who is wanted alive, I'll subtract.

      Delete
    4. Does that offer work for anyone? Because I'm rather offended at all the other people who have the same bounty as me.

      And hey, I haven't had a challenge for a while. It'd be nice to kill someone worth killing.

      Delete
    5. See, this is exactly what I was talking about. Some people's children.

      Sure. Same rules. Killed anyone wanted dead, and I'll add their bounty to yours. Kill anyone wanted alive, I'll subtract.

      Delete
    6. When you based your organisation off capitalism, did you forsee a saturated market?

      Delete
    7. In people on the bounty board killing each other for a higher bounty? Nope.

      In people ordering stuff and calling in for work? Yes.

      Delete
  3. The conflict intensifies! The plot thickens! Villain vs. Villain and both sides grow desperate. Maybe in a strange bout of luck, both sides will kill each other! Just like the Trojans and Greeks, or the Sharks and Jets!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe if they were fighting over Helen or Maria. Any of you proxies battling it out over some girl?

      Delete
    2. Uh, neither of those people wiped each other out. One side won and went home.

      Delete
    3. And then some of them got wiped out going home... Also, according to Greek myths there were Greek gods on both sides. So it was kind of a civil war. If you're willing to stretch the definition a little.

      Delete
  4. What's your opinion on non-proxies cashing in on these bounties? After all, from our earlier conversation you seemed pretty enamored with the far-right economic model. Will this free market extend to less protectionism, I wonder?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Runners/Fighters/Joggers/Sages/Santas are free to collect in on their short lived bounties.

      While I am not comfortable with the implications of you people taking each other out, I will not deny Father a good show.

      Delete
    2. Oh, I don't plan to cash in on these things. I was just interested in seeing your response. And keeping my options open, I guess.

      Delete