Showing posts with label Ivan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ivan. Show all posts

Thursday, June 5, 2014

You're Okay to Leave it all Behind.

Great news everyone. Whispers back.

He was out on an away mission for a long, long time. We had him down in Black Lake working with Maggot and Jack to brainwash the populous and rewrite recent history. Specifically that the small town of Black Lake was swarmed with all manner of fear cults in a desperate effort by various fears to take over the town.

While much of the information surrounding the incident is still highly classified I feel its safe to disclose that the effort to cover up the incident has been highly successful. There is not a single survivor who can remember what they actually survived. As best they can remember it, those lost where consumed in a massive fire that nearly burnt the whole town to the ground. To complete that illusion, we set fire to every structure in Black Lake before these mind fucking efforts began to make the damage more consistent with the cover up.

With the cover up in full effect and the populous free once more to go about their shattered lives, a reconstruction effort as been started by the town to rebuild itself from the ground up. Seems before too terribly long Black Lake will be a real town again. Here is hoping it's still there next week...




So, with Whisper back we have everything we need to fix Picasso. I had her restrained by Helrick and Ivan and dragged off to the white room this morning. Shes currently tied down to the operating table with the strongest restraints money can buy. Something I've found to be incredibly necessary in past procedures. You'd be surprised just how stupid strong people get when they try to resist forcible mind fucking procedures. Its like putting someone on PCP. Their brain gives up all mental inhibitions in the struggle and as a result the body uses its full strength as it flails to try to get away.

We actually had a guy punch right through someones chest in a very early try run of this sort of thing. It wasn't pretty.

I can hear Picasso screaming profanities and begging to be let out right now. She must have just woke up.

"NO! I'm sorry, I'll be good. I'LL BE GOOD! I'll kill you QUICK! PLEASE! Not this, NOT THE WHITE ROOM. NOOOO. NOOOOOOOOOO"

Rather annoying.

We should really get started I guess.

We'll let you know how it goes.

The Lord Guardian Fracture Out.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Dani the Girl is...?

I think that's the right song. I'm looking at the last three entry titles and they seem to be the lyrics from a Red Hot Chili Peppers song.

No wait... my Ginger is informing me that those are lyrics from the song hes being making Jack listen too.

Guess that makes sense... sort of. Not sure why he would do that after he spent all that time bitching being forced to listen to music. Maybe its stuck in his head or something? Suppose that could also make sense.

I should introduce my Ginger.


Meet Jaivannelloxisomianthei'untimnyscious (Shorted for your benefit) O'Donnel

Sup. Just call me Ivan. Letters 3 through 6 of my name. Its easier that way.

Care to explain to people why the fuck your name is so messed up.

My Dad was a proxy. He had this weird ritual where he would add a letter to his name ever time he killed someone. Apparently until I was old enough to speak, he gave those letter me to and made that my legal name... somehow. Pretty sure they aren't supposed to let you do that but then again the Bureaucracy was a thing back then. He probably greased some palms or something.

Same man that kept you locked in basement and dumped you in the woods for a week to fend for yourself to prove your strength?

Yep... thanks for sharing that... asshole. I just gonna remove all that.

I'm just gonna put it back in when you leave the room.

Fuck you fuck face.

I missed you too.

So yeah. I've actually been back for a little while. Been taking a nice little mini vacation in my closet to get away from the world and catch up on my reading. 

I mean, I just helped save the world and shit... or 'a world' I guess. Regardless, I'd definitely earned my sabbatical. 

And along came Jack, the whiny and terrible.

Yep. Your pupil. I can't help but feel that you have to shoulder some of the blame there.

I abso-fucking-lutely disagree.

By the powers vested in me by my lord guardianness-

Your self proclaimed title.

... Yeah. I declare you overruled. Its your fault.

Classy.

So much class you can kiss my ass.

So yeah. Jack spoiled that. Not only did he tell Devil and Fire I was back, and they made me get back to work, but he fucking announced it to the world that I was available again and now I have to go do things.


You're such a whiny fucking slacker.

I'll take no sass from schzo.

The hello you won't.

The hell I won't what?

You said... uh...

Exactly.

Fuck you.

So right. Back. Should explain what Jack did after his last post and wrap this train wreck of an introduction up.

Apparently, following him using me as an distraction by announcing my return to the rest of the compound, he went and stole your iPod. 

Yep.

And then he had a mask open up a path door in front of where Maggot had dumped all his stuff in the path and threw the iPod in blaring 'Never Gonna give you up'.

A beautiful classic.

So while the denizen that had been sleeping on his stuff was busy being Rick Rolled and was out desperately trying to find and destroy your iPod, little jack grabbed all his shit and returned to the compound and had the path door sealed behind him.

Yep.

How do we know all this?

The little dumbass was bragging about it.

Hahahaha. Classic Jack.

Said the guy who has't been her to hand out with Jack for the last month.

Fuck you.

So to punish Jack for destroying my shit we've locked him in a room with 'Never Gonna give you up' playing over and over again and with Maggot in there to beat on him.

Harsh.

But well deserved.

Don't think you might be power tripping on this mentor things? No repressed Daddy issues coming out.

This is fucking over. Later fuck face, I have a ten year old to torture.

... Well okay then. Guess this is as good a way to announce my return as any.

I'm back. 


Lord Guardian Fracture out.